February 2026

i apologized to a student today in class and it felt.. amazing!?. i got into my usual 5 pm class. right awya, i noticed a student changing her usual place (arranged for her by me) and i immediately shook my head in her direction signaling that she should not do it. she obyed with no complaints. couple of minutes go by and we were deep into the session; students were busy copying the lesson into their copybooks and i was doing my usual strolls along the rows and the tables checking if all was well. as i passed next to the her table, i told her that she should have asked for my permission before changing places; and that's when the unexpected happened. she immediately replied with a serious look upon her face and said something along the lines that another student never asks for permission. i replied (half-thinking tbh) that the student she complained about is special (weird choice of words but that's what i came up with at the time). i said my reply in a calm and playful manner. i did not escalate (which i would have done previously) i did not reply harshly. i joked about it and moved on. however, i saw she was very serious and she really felt like i mistreated her. the rest of the session was just me thinking about what i should do in the end of the session. should i scold her for questioning my decisions as a teacher? should i put her in her place and show her that i do what i do because i know best as the teacher of the class, as the all-knowing? i really was not sure about how to approach the matter. when the session was about to end, i came to a conclusion. i realized that the student i was dealing with had issues in the past with the admin for being aggressive and reactive. she probably fought with so many people in the past including family, friends, and admin. me scolding her would be just another incident in her long list of incidents where an adult scolds her for doing something wrong. i thought to my self maybe i should break this cycle. maybe it would do her more good if i deescalated rather than seek emotional revenge. i also noticed that my own ego was very inflated and could not handle any other outcome where she is not scolded for not knowing her place as a student. it was then when i made up my mind to actually apologize. i thought that would serve two purposes; 1. it would break the cycle and show her that not all her actions lead to violent confrontations and 2. it would break my own ego and be a good exercise in humility. and that's what i did. "i am sorry" i said. and her face lit up. i was utterly happy. i felt like i managed to heal a small little part of that student broken self. anyways, this happened and i thought i should write it down in this teacher journal.

i have just realized that during my entire career as a teacher so far i have only played three songs for my students in class. i often hear other people say that they never forgot the songs their english teachers played for them way back in middle school or high school and i feel like i should be giving my own students those kinds of memories. i, too, have not forgotten the songs Ms. Hanan played for us back in high school. i listen regularly to "World, Hold On" by Bob Sinclar, "Lemon Tree" by Fools Garden, and my favorite of them all, "In My High School" by Blain Larsen. i tried a song yesterday with one of my classes and it was amazing. the song was "Lost in Babylon" by Anwar. it was used to introduce the themes of patriotism, immigration, and homesickness. students really liked it. below is a playlist that i will update regularly with all the songs that i play in class.