What I'm up to, roughly as it happens.

the eyes, chiko, in exams, just like in love… they never lie. in a test, if you want to catch who is cheating with his phone, look at the students' eyes.

some students' problems are too big to even acknowledge. what power does a simple english teacher have? what influence? it feels frustrating sometimes. the system is failing so many students and i feel like nothing can be done about it.

sometimes one small event right before the begining of a class - a student asking for his place back from another, a sudden unfiltred laugh from a class corner, or even a tasteless question - can affect my mood tremendously and make me shift from being extremly egger to start the lesson to being completly burned out and frustrated.

i apologized to a student today in class and it felt.. amazing!?. i got into my usual 5 pm class. right awya, i noticed a student changing her usual place (arranged for her by me) and i immediately shook my head in her direction signaling that she should not do it. she obyed with no complaints. couple of minutes go by and we were deep into the session; students were busy copying the lesson into their copybooks and i was doing my usual strolls along the rows and the tables checking if all was well. as i passed next to the her table, i told her that she should have asked for my permission before changing places; and that's when the unexpected happened. she immediately replied with a serious look upon her face and said something along the lines that another student never asks for permission. i replied (half-thinking tbh) that the student she complained about is special (weird choice of words but that's what i came up with at the time). i said my reply in a calm and playful manner. i did not escalate (which i would have done previously) i did not reply harshly. i joked about it and moved on. however, i saw she was very serious and she really felt like i mistreated her. the rest of the session was just me thinking about what i should do in the end of the session. should i scold her for questioning my decisions as a teacher? should i put her in her place and show her that i do what i do because i know best as the teacher of the class, as the all-knowing? i really was not sure about how to approach the matter. when the session was about to end, i came to a conclusion. i realized that the student i was dealing with had issues in the past with the admin for being aggressive and reactive. she probably fought with so many people in the past including family, friends, and admin. me scolding her would be just another incident in her long list of incidents where an adult scolds her for doing something wrong. i thought to my self maybe i should break this cycle. maybe it would do her more good if i deescalated rather than seek emotional revenge. i also noticed that my own ego was very inflated and could not handle any other outcome where she is not scolded for not knowing her place as a student. it was then when i made up my mind to actually apologize. i thought that would serve two purposes; 1. it would break the cycle and show her that not all her actions lead to violent confrontations and 2. it would break my own ego and be a good exercise in humility. and that's what i did. "i am sorry" i said. and her face lit up. i was utterly happy. i felt like i managed to heal a small little part of that student broken self. anyways, this happened and i thought i should write it down in this teacher journal.

i have just realized that during my entire career as a teacher so far i have only played three songs for my students in class. i often hear other people say that they never forgot the songs their english teachers played for them way back in middle school or high school and i feel like i should be giving my own students those kinds of memories. i, too, have not forgotten the songs Ms. Hanan played for us back in high school. i listen regularly to "World, Hold On" by Bob Sinclar, "Lemon Tree" by Fools Garden, and my favorite of them all, "In My High School" by Blain Larsen. i tried a song yesterday with one of my classes and it was amazing. the song was "Lost in Babylon" by Anwar. it was used to introduce the themes of patriotism, immigration, and homesickness. students really liked it. below is a playlist that i will update regularly with all the songs that i play in class.

when a students is put in an embarrassing situation in class (fell as he was walking towards the board, made an unconscious body noise, etc.) always step up and follow up immediately telling a story about how you yourself were in the same embarrassing situation (stress how embarrassing it was and make sure you exaggerate it so that it seems way worse than what happened to the student). this is very useful in redirecting the spot light from the embarrassed student to the teacher. does not seem that important but for teenagers public awkward situations can affect their confidence long term.

i think teaching is just like doing stand-up comedy. there you are as a teacher/performer in front of crowds, some of which can be very tough and hard to reach. hecklers—students—all around you trying to throw you off. you've got opening lines/jokes and material you spend hours developing. some of us even use props/visual aids during the performances.

a trainer (prof. Mouhdi from ENS 2017) once told us that teaching is like giving a show and a good teacher should have good showmanship. you were dead right prof.

just realized that being proactive is the most important skill a teacher can have. reactions are the enemy. most problems come from bad or ill timed reactions in class.