What I'm up to, roughly as it happens.

last year was tough. come to think of it, the entirety of the last few years was challenging. I think doing a PhD, teaching at different schools, and handling the monotony of life, all at once, comes with a cost. I managed to end the last school year with no major mistakes. let's hope i manage to do the same this year also. i am more motivated this year and i have energy to try new techniques in my class. i will try to make my classes fun once more. i will also try to be more practical and more efficient in my teaching. i have learned a lot and i am ready to put what i have learned to the test.

does experience and time spent in a class dull the emotions?

it hurts. teaching really hurts. i have always given my 100% doing this job. i went far and beyond during every session. i was not perfect but i was always trying to be my best for my students. i made sure not to leave a single student behind. when i had full classes (43+), i printed more colored worksheets. when my students had a bad day/night/life, i made sure to make at least one hour of their day feel good. i gifted. i comforted. and i listened. i did all this and never sought any recognition/rewards. i did it for my students. because i loved my students.

i miss my students.

multiple strikes are going on at the moment all over Morocco. all teacher-related. i am participating this time. as a teacher, i have always believed that we are not paid enough. what we get, what i get, compared to the effort i put into this job is ridiculously unbalanced. i truly believe that we cannot enhance the educational system without increasing the salaries of teachers (who do their job as it is supposed to). nothing will change if the financial situation of the teachers is this miserable. there will be no incentive for the betterment of class practices if the teacher can barely survive the month. of course, there are other issues that need to be addressed as well. but first, give me more money.

and just like that the school year has ended. very prematurely if you ask me. but no one listens. they all just want to finish the year. they must hate their jobs because i can't understand how someone can await the end of the year with such eagerness. i struggle and dread the end very much. i hate the goodbyes it brings. i feel betrayed. i feel cheated. i spend a year giving all myself to my dear students only to see them detach from me at the end and go far away to another place, to another teacher. this year was especially difficult. so many great students and so many happy souls. i will forever hold pieces of them in my heart and i hope they do the same. i am glad i met them. i hope to see some of them later in life, in some other setting, in some other space.

today, i said goodbye to one of my favorite classes of this year. it was extremely painful. i hate goodbyes. i hate this job for making me say goodbye every year to souls i have gotten so attached to. they brought me the nicest gift. their words and their tears will forever be remembered. i will be looking forward to your emails 10 years from now where you tell me all about your successes. see you in another place, dearest students.

i provided a sarahah link to my 1BAC classes and asked them to share with me how they feel about the class. All messages were positive and filled with so many happy thoughts. I will await your emails and messages in the future with a hopeful heart.

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